11.13.2014
Kristen Blake slaps Stefano DiMera (DAYS late 1996)
10.02.2014
The Most Absolutely Fabulous Rant of All Time
Patsy: My name is Patsy Stone. I'm an alcoholic and what she did was an act of humanitarian mercy.
Judge: That is hardly a reason to steal a crate of champagne.
Eddie: Have you any idea how much champagne costs these days? I was forced to steal it. My daughter wouldn't have allowed me to buy it.
Judge: I must ask you to sit down and stop wasting the court's time. The sum of £50,000 is to be paid by you in damages and a further fine of £2,000. You will also be liable for all cost incurred....
Eddie to Saffron: Well, getting rid of my chauffeur was a little bit of a false economy, wasn't it sweetie?
Judge: ....and a lifetime ban on driving. And, finally, Mrs. Monsoon....
Eddie: Can I just say one word in my defense, um?
Saffie: I don't think that's a very good idea, Mum. Your mouth is working for the prosecution.
Eddie: Oh, darling, this is what I do well, sweetie. You might pick up a few tips for the Debating Society, you never know. Without notes, Saff.
[Gran claps]
Eddie: Thank you, thank you. Right – I, the proposed accused, think that, well, I mean, you know, the day in question was not a good day for me, all right? But I put it to you that I don't see how any day could have been the way this bloody country's run. Well, you know, I was just trying to do my best, trying to get from A to B, do a little shopping. I was trying to take control of my life, you know....only to find that it is actually controlled for me....by petty bureaucracy and bits of bloody paper and ignorant bloody petty rules and laws that just obstruct every tiny little action until you find you've committed a crime without even knowing it! I mean, you know, why can't life just be made a little easier for everybody, huh? Why can't it be more like the Continent, hmm? You know, where a man can just park his car on the pavement and then run down the street in front of charging bulls whilst letting fireworks off out of his bloody nostrils without anyone blinking an eye? Huh? Because it's probably a local holiday and nobody's at work because they all want to have just a little bit of fun and they're not intimidated by some outdated work ethic. I mean, there has to be more to life than just being safe.
Judge: Is there a point to all this?
Eddie: Yes! Yes! Why, oh why, do we pay taxes, hmmm? I mean, just to have bloody parking restrictions and buggery-ugly traffic wardens and bollocky pedestrian bloody crossings? And those bastard railings outside shops, so you can't even get in them! I mean, I know they're there to stop stupid people running into the street and killing themselves! But we're not all stupid! We don't all need nursemaiding! I mean, why not just have a Stupidity Tax? Just tax the stupid people!
Patsy: Let them DIE!
Eddie: Yes!
Judge: Anymore of this ridiculous rant and I'll put you both away!
Gran: Hear, hear!
Judge: Edina Margaret Rose Monsoon, I hereby sentence you to....
7.28.2011
Justice League of America 0 and the DCnU....
7.10.2010
FABLES - The Greatest Comic Book Series of All Time!
ROSEMARY'S BABY/THE EXORCIST have been my #1 films for close to 20 years.
5.09.2010
The RESURRECTED: The Buffy Summers and Beatrix Kiddo Principles
There's no reason to think that all of The Twelve are thrilled to be alive again. The Hawks are quite used to being killed and being reborn. MM, Aquaman, Jade, Ronnie and Osiris were heroes. There's no reason to think that they didn't go to their "reward" when they were killed; that they went to "their" Heaven and that they're not too happy to have been pulled out of there. I call this The Buffy Principle.
Now we come to The Beatrix Kiddo Principle . Don Hall was complete. Don Hall was killed in the line of duty people saving the lives of others and was at peace with his death.
The Nekrotic Eight all died with unfinished business. Just as The Bride forced herself out of a coma and to walk again to avenge what the D.I.V.A.S. did to her in El Paso , so to did the Nekrotic Eight and Hal (Barry is an anomaly*) return from the dead because of unfinished business. Don Hall had no unfinished business, so he is at peace.
But The Twelve may have also been at peace.
There's no reason to think that Martian Manhunter wasn't in his Heaven with his wife and daughter....
Theres no reason to think that Arthur wasn't in his Heaven with his sons....
I'd be cranky if I was pulled from Heaven (although I know where I'm going to end up and it's not up there, but I digress....) and brought back to the harshness of living. I think we're going to find during BRIGHTEST DAY that not all of the RESURRECTED are happy about being alive again.
11.27.2009
The Nekrotic Eight
9.25.2009
Superman Beyond....
Toward the end of FINAL CRISIS #2 (an entry will follow [one day] about FINAL CRISIS specifically; however, in short, FINAL CRISIS is the story of a devil god losing a war in Heaven and, as this dark, evil god falls, he tears the fabric of the universe, the multiverse, apart and FINAL CRISIS is the story of the last of the heroes of the conquered Earth–0 uniting to defeat him) a bomb went off in the Daily Planet, killing some and critically injuring Lois Lane-Kent.
In the hospital, in the next issue, it is revealed that Clark is keeping Lois alive with his heat vision, which he is using to massage her heart. Lois is one heartbeat away from death.
Enter, stage right – Zillo Valla....
Superman and Captain Marvel realize that MONITOR is a conscious, living void. Superman states that what he and Captain Marvel are reading is the “primal origin story of Zillo Valla’s kind.”
“With no precedent for the concept ‘story…’ no understanding of the damage ‘story’ might do to an immense awareness without limits or definition…. MONITOR has zero defenses.
The Monitors are referring to the Thought–Robot, which they describe as a “doomsday machine engineered by genius to defend us against some ultimate enemy.”
In the Ultima Thule, Overman tells Billy Batson to stay away from the vampiric Zillo Valla. Overman reveals his origin and that he agreed to go on the journey to find his cousin, Overgirl, who we saw crash to Earth–0 in FINAL CRISIS #3.
Billy Batson discovers that the Ultima Thule is fueled by Bleed. Billy, a reporter for WHIZ Media, notes that he smells a “love story.” Zillo Valla gives Billy his magic word.
Ultraman declares that he is taking the Ultima Thule to spread the gospel of Mandrakk to all worlds. Superman tells him that he’ll have to go through him first. As they are about to throw down, Captain Marvel enters and keeps them apart.
Captain Marvel reminds Superman of the ultimate weapon created by the Monitors that was revealed to them through the Infinite Book. Supes tells Captain Marvel to take the Ultima Thule and go into the multiverse warn everyone that Mandrakk is coming.
Captain Adam reveals that Thought–Robot requires the unleashing of tremendous energies to be activated, which can only occur during the “collisions of fundamental opposing qualities.”
Captain Adam allows Superman and Ultraman to touch and the resultant release of energy activates the Thought–Robot, which has the visage of Superman.
The doors of the tomb open and Mandrakk steps out, holding a phial of Bleed. Mandrakk tells Superman all he has to do is take the phial from him. Mandrakk strikes and the battle between the Superman Thought–Robot and Mandrakk begins.
As Mandrakk fires upon the Superman Thought–Robot, he mentions the “sound of the space between now and her final heartbeat.”
Badly damaged from the battle, the Superman Thought–Robot is handed the phial of Bleed and advised that it cannot be taken back to his world. Superman tells the Monitor that he’ll “find a way.”
The Superman Thought–Robot begins to wind down. Ultraman and Superman are separated and fall to the surface, with Bleed raining down around them.
Captain Marvel reveals that he found his treasure – a shard of the Rock of Eternity. Silently, “in the space between one heartbeat,” Superman, Captain Marvel and Overman destroy Mandrakk’s warships.
Part Two, my analysis of the story, which spanned two oversize, 3D issues, will follow in a few days....